By Chiamara Anyacho
Contributing Writer

There are some things you learn very early in Nigeria.

You greet your elders.

You say sir and ma.

And apparently, if the person is Tony Elumelu, you don’t just say Tony.

A young graduate trainee recently found this out the hard way when she stood before the billionaire businessman at a UBA event and opened with:

“Good morning, Tony.”

Elumelu corrected her, asking that she address him as Mr Elumelu or TOE instead.

She immediately did.

End of story, right?

Apparently not.

Because the internet got involved.

And suddenly, one young woman saying Tony became a national debate about Gen Z, home training, respect, Western culture and Nigerian values.

But honestly, I think there are two separate conversations here.

Was she wrong?

Maybe.

In a formal setting, especially when addressing someone much older and senior to you, starting with Mr Elumelu would have been the safer choice.

But here’s what I find interesting.

Why did we need to turn a simple correction into a public trial?

She was corrected.

She adjusted.

Lesson learnt.

Why must we now decide that she has no home training, no respect and no upbringing?

And then there is the bigger question.

Why does a person’s first name suddenly become inappropriate when they acquire money, power or status?

We call ordinary older people by their first names every day.

But give someone a billionaire’s bank account and suddenly “Tony” sounds like a disciplinary offence.

Maybe that’s the real Nigerian contradiction.

We want modern workplaces where everybody feels approachable and empowered.

But we also have a culture deeply rooted in hierarchy and titles.

And honestly?

Neither is completely wrong.

If Mr Elumelu prefers to be addressed formally, respect that.

If your boss tells you to call her Ada, call her Ada.

If you’re unsure?

Start with “Sir” or “Ma.”

It’s Nigeria. You won’t die.

But let’s also learn to distinguish between correcting someone’s etiquette and humiliating them for it.

Because the girl said “Tony.”

She didn’t declare war.

Let’s breathe.

About writer: Chiamara Anyacho is a passionate writer known for crafting compelling and impactful content. She specializes in professional writing services including CVs, Statements of Purpose, grant proposals, and scholarship essays, helping individuals present their stories with clarity and distinction. Her work spans poetry, thought provoking articles, and captivating short stories that explore human experiences and societal realities. She has received notable recognition including an Honorable Mention in the National Economic Summit Group’s Essay Competition, the Honorable Mention Award at the Literesque Prize 2026, and reaching the penultimate stage of the Pen on Fire Stages Competition.